Paper Airplanes Read online

  And before we said goodnight, because I wasn’t about to ruin things by spending the night so early on in what I hoped was going to be a relationship, Will walked me downstairs and out to where my car was parked. Marley had decided to stay the night with Aiden, so I was going back to our apartment alone. Will kissed me and told me he’d call me over break.

  I looked up at him then, needing to ask, because I couldn’t go home for three weeks without knowing. “What is this?”

  He raised an eyebrow and smirked at me before adjusting the beanie I was wearing. The temperature was close to freezing, and snow was expected to fall overnight.

  “At the moment or in the larger sense of the word?” he asked.

  I shot him a knowing look. “The larger sense, obviously. You’ve never kissed me before.”

  He looked amused by my question. “Do we need to define what we’re doing?”

  It was such a typical Will response.

  I shrugged. “I guess not, but I think I need to know that I’m not a rebound for you.”

  He sighed, his breath visible in the cold night air as his hands slid up and cupped my upper arms. “I like you, Cassie. I’ve always liked you, but if you want me to tell you I’m completely over Isabella, I can’t do that. I want to be. I want to move on and let go of her, and I was sort of hoping you’d be the girl who’d help me do that. But I’ll understand if you’re not cool with my baggage.”

  I wasn’t sure I’d ever had a guy be so honest with me. I hadn’t expected that from Will. “What does that mean?”

  I needed to hear that he wasn’t just looking for something physical. I couldn’t do that. I was already emotionally invested in him. I wouldn’t do just sex.

  He dropped his hands then and pulled something out of his pocket. Then he put it in my hand and folded my fingers into a fist around it. I looked down at his hand clenched around mine for a few seconds before I looked up and met his bright-eyed gaze. His brown eyes sparkled as he watched me.

  “Open it,” he said instead of answering my question.

  I did, slowly unfolding my fingers to reveal a single charm in the shape of a triangle on a chain. There were some variations to the triangle, some folds, making it look like a paper airplane. I looked up at him in question.

  “Is it a paper airplane?”

  He nodded once. “It’s supposed to be symbolic of being separated from someone you care about. I figured you could wear it over break and think about me.” His eyes shifted away from me for a few seconds before shifting back to meet my gaze. “Give me a chance, Cassie.”

  “So this isn’t just a hook up?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want it to be,” he said, and then he kissed me.

  I knew right then and there that given the chance, I was going to fall hard for Will Stephens. No one had ever given me such a thoughtful and meaningful gift. And he’d bought it before that night, almost as if he’d known we were going to get together. And that meant more to me than the gift itself.

  Everything changed after that night. Suddenly I was Will Stephens’ girlfriend, a spot I’d coveted for a year and a half. I finally had the boy I’d been dreaming about for far too long. Of course it was different on the inside looking out than I’d imagined it to be. Will was broken. Isabella had done a serious number on him, but like he told me he wanted to, he tried to move forward. I could see that, and it meant everything to me.

  In some ways it was good that we were separated at the start of our relationship because it gave us time to settle in to knowing each other in a different way. We talked a lot over break, almost every day, and when I got back to school things were good. We’d been together for just five weeks the night we’d gone racing out of the frat house in the snow, and even though Will wasn’t perfect, I already had really strong feelings for him. I knew it was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him. Hell, I was practically already there.

  “I always get the hottest guys, haven’t you realized that yet?” I yelled to my best friend who burst out laughing as Will looked down at me and smiled.

  I reached up and straightened the gray beanie I was wearing over my blond hair, trying to block out some of the cold night air. I’d straightened my curly hair earlier in the day, but it had started to annoy me, so I’d pulled it back into a bun at the nape of my neck and shoved my favorite beanie on my head. Just a few pieces of escaped hair were blowing against my face in the cold wind. Will brushed one off of my cheek.

  “And I always get the hottest girls,” he said, planting a kiss on my ice cold lips.

  His mouth was warm as his tongue snaked its way into my mouth, claiming me and causing me to forget that it was below freezing and snowing outside, and I wasn’t wearing shoes conducive to either. I didn’t care. When Will kissed me, everything else faded away.

  “You live a charmed life, my friend,” Marley said from behind me, and she was right.

  My life so far had been perfect. I wouldn’t have changed one thing about it. I had a hot new boyfriend, amazing friends, and I was loving my collegiate experience. I couldn’t have been happier.

  “Okay, seriously, what are we doing out here? It’s fucking freezing,” Reese complained, as we started walking toward the dining hall.

  Will took my hand in his as we walked. “It’s cold,” I said, huddling against him.

  He chuckled as he pulled me closer, his lips landing on my temple. “I’ll keep you warm.”

  I smiled, feeling so lucky in that moment.

  “Yeah, why are we out here?” Marley complained, trailing along behind Aiden.

  “We’re starving and we need snacks, obviously,” Aiden chimed in as he shoved his brother and pulled his girlfriend into his arms. “I’m hungry, and the dining hall is the closest option we have.”

  “And we already have drinks,” Will said, pulling a flask from his pocket. He took a swig and handed it to me. He winked. “Live it up while you’re young, right?”

  “Right,” I told him, because I knew he needed to hear it.

  Will was a senior, and he was dreading graduating at the end of the summer. I wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to stretch out school for another few years, and I couldn’t blame him. I was only a sophomore, but I knew how crazy it could be in the real world. We had it good with our charmed life in our little, safe bubble.

  Or at least we thought we did.

  That evening, in the freezing January cold, drunk with my friends and living life to its fullest, I thought we were untouchable. Little did I know that just a few minutes later, everything was going to come crashing down around us.

  “I want ice cream,” Reese called out when we entered the packed dining hall, heading for the back.

  “Get me some too,” Aiden called after him, heading toward the hot food line with Marley trailing behind him saying something about wanting mac and cheese.

  “What do you want, Witter?” Will asked me.

  I smiled at him. “Definitely not ice cream. I want French fries and gravy.”

  He smiled back at me, and leaned over to kiss my temple.

  It was then that I heard a blood-curling scream that made my heart stop beating for several seconds. It was cut off by the loudest sound I’d ever heard, several loud bangs in quick succession, and before I knew it, I was on the floor, and Will was on top of me.

  I heard shouting and screaming and crying, but I was disoriented. Something wet was soaking through my jacket and dripping down the side of my face, the side of my head was on fire all of a sudden, and Will’s weight was crushing me. I couldn’t move.

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  More screams. People were crying and running and chairs were scraping. Someone nearby was shouting for everyone to shut the fuck up. His voice was followed by two more bangs. Then the room fell eerily silent. Something told me I needed to get out of there. I needed to run. Something bad was happening, but my brain couldn’t engage what it was.

  “Will,” I groaned, but he didn’t
seem hear me. I tried to push him off of me, but I couldn’t. I felt like my head was going to split open. It was burning and aching at the same time, and a wave of nausea was rolling through me. “Will.”

  “Shut up,” someone hissed to my right, and I turned my head even though it hurt to do it.

  I came face to face with a pair of bright blue eyes and a panicked expression. The guy was lying on the floor, part of his body obstructed from my view by the legs of a chair and a backpack. He had a smear of blood on his face, the black baseball cap he was wearing was askew, his chest was rising and falling rapidly, and when I looked down, I could see he was holding his side. A puddle of blood was beneath him.

  My eyes got wide as I saw the blood and heard another blast go off. Another scream followed it. I started to open my mouth to scream for help, to scream out of fear, to scream just because I was terrified and disoriented, but the blue eyes staring right into mine widened in fear, making me freeze. I closed my mouth, and he nodded infinitesimally.

  I started to push Will off of me, not sure why he wasn’t moving. I needed to get up. I needed to get out of there. I needed to run. Didn’t he realize that? Why wasn’t he moving?

  “Stop,” the boy with the blue eyes hissed, and there was so much fear in his voice that I did what he said.

  I didn’t understand why he was telling me to stop, but I listened. I froze, stayed where I was, trapped beneath Will. I couldn’t move. My head ached. It felt like it was literally split open. I figured I must have smacked it against the floor when Will had fallen on top of me. Why had he fallen? Why wasn’t he getting up? Why wasn’t he moving?

  I heard another bang. It sounded like a car backfiring, and I jumped inside my skin. I saw tears fill the blue eyes that I couldn’t stop looking at, because at that moment, they were grounding me at a time when I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew enough to be afraid. The look in those eyes told me to be afraid. And in that second, I realized what the loud bangs were.

  Panic flooded me as I registered the voice of a guy shouting, barking orders, making demands. Blood flooded my ears, distorting my hearing. I couldn’t understand what he was saying, but something told me I didn’t want to know. Nearby I could hear someone crying, but another loud bang silenced those cries, and I fought to not think about what had just happened less than ten feet from me.

  My eyes darted to the left but I couldn’t see anything.

  “Look at me,” I heard from the boy with the blue eyes, and I shifted my gaze back to him, grateful for something to focus on other than the terror surrounding me.

  “Are you okay?” I asked him as softly as I could.

  “No.” He shook his head infinitesimally where it rested on the floor, and then he swallowed hard as if it was difficult for him.

  “Are you scared?”

  I saw more tears fill his eyes, spill over and splash to the floor as he nodded. “Stay with me,” he pleaded, his voice so raspy and strained.

  “I will,” I promised, even though it was getting increasingly difficult to keep my mind focused. I was drifting, but I would do everything I could not to let him go.

  He nodded, his gaze never leaving mine.

  A few seconds later, panic registered on his face, putting me on high alert. Then I heard footsteps coming closer, boots thumping on the tile floor, and the boy looked at me once more with such desperation before he closed his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes, the only things that had been keeping me grounded, were suddenly shut off to me.

  Then he mumbled, “Play dead,” through barely opened lips.

  I did exactly what he said. I lay there as still and as limp as I could. I closed my eyes, and I started to silently pray. The footsteps were slow, deliberate, and they vibrated through the tile floor around me. I held my breath, kept as still as possible and tried to do exactly what the boy had told me. It wasn’t hard, I was starting to drift, to lose consciousness. I fought to stay alert so I could hear what was going on, but I was fighting a losing battle.

  The footsteps stopped. I could feel the presence of those boots near my head. I stayed still. I didn’t move. I played dead.

  Then I heard Marley. She was softly calling out to Aiden. I didn’t know where she was, where Aiden was or if he was dead or alive. But I knew her voice so well that I could tell it was her, and in that moment, I wanted to scream at her to shut up, but I didn’t dare move. I didn’t say a word.

  Then the voice from before, now right above me, shouted, “Shut the fuck up. I will kill you.”

  Marley started to cry. Then she was begging for her life, and I wanted to cry too. I wanted to scream at him to leave her alone, but I forced myself to stay quiet.

  “Fucking cunt,” the voice above me muttered, and then he stalked away from me, his footsteps receding.

  He kept telling Marley to shut up. Then I heard Aiden’s voice. And then there was another gunshot. Marley screamed, and I started to shake as I knew what had happened. My breath started coming in shallow bursts, tears threatened to spill from my closed eyes, but I was afraid to move, afraid the guy with the gun would come back, that he would know I wasn’t dead, and then he would kill me too. My head was on fire, and I couldn’t see anything, but I knew exactly what was happening. I could picture it clearly in my mind’s eye.

  I couldn’t hear movement from next to me. I had no idea if the boy with the blue eyes was dead or alive. He’d been bleeding so badly. I didn’t know where my other friends were, if they were okay. All I knew was that I’d never been so scared in my life, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

  Then slowly, as if the world was fading away, I started to lose consciousness. Just as I blacked out, I heard what I thought was another gunshot, and all I could think was, Please don’t let it be Marley.

  Chapter Two

  Cassie

  I had no idea what day it was or even where I was when I woke up. My mouth was dry, my eyes burned, and the bed I was sleeping in was uncomfortable. I blinked a few times, looking around the room, seeing machines and florescent lights and gray walls.

  “Oh, my God, you’re awake!” I heard, and I swallowed as I looked toward the familiar voice.

  I tried to swallow, but it was too hard. Instead I locked eyes with my best friend who suddenly burst into tears. Before I could fully wake up, Marley was hugging me from an awkward angle, her arms wrapped around me from the side, and she was crying. She was crying so hard. Why was she crying?

  “Mar?” I croaked out.

  “Cass! Oh, Cass,” she said, sobbing against my shoulder.

  “Water,” I managed to say.

  She pulled back from me, her eyes wet and red-rimmed. It took her a few seconds to comprehend what I’d asked for. Then she nodded, reaching for the pitcher near my bed and filling a plastic cup with water. She handed it to me wordlessly. I tried to take it, but my hand felt like it hadn’t been used in a while, the muscles not working like I wanted them to. Instead of commenting on the fact that I couldn’t quite grasp a plastic cup, Marley tilted it to my lips to let me drink.

  I swallowed almost all of it, and then fell back against the pillows, exhausted from the small effort. She was watching me the whole time.

  “Where am I?” I asked her.

  “The hospital,” she said as if I should have realized. Her eyes drifted down. It was like she couldn’t look at me.

  “Why am I in the hospital?” I asked her, panic creeping up on me. “What happened?”

  I couldn’t remember anything. I racked my brain to remember the last thing I’d been doing, and I remembered walking back from class that afternoon. Was it that afternoon? I wasn’t even sure what time it was, but I’d had my chemistry lab. My group had stayed late to finish up our report. Then Marley and I had plans to go to happy hour at APB. I hated chemistry, and after a grueling week of classes and a hellish lab, I needed drinks.

  Marley looked up at me, tears in her eyes once more. “You don’t remember?” she asked, the appalled look o
n her face matching the tone of her voice.

  I shook my head, trying to think back on what she was talking about. Remember what? Had I even made it home? Was there an accident? It had been snowing. I remembered that. There was white everywhere, falling into my hair, the gray beanie I was wearing decorated with snowflakes. One had landed on my gloved hand. It had been one of those perfect formations of crystals that looked like the snowflakes I’d cut out of paper as a kid. It hadn’t looked real.

  But after that, after the moment I unlocked my car door, everything was blank. I had no recollection of what came next. Had I crashed my car or something?

  Marley started crying all over again. I needed her to stop. I needed her to tell me what was wrong. A few seconds later, my mother walked in the room.

  “She’s awake!” she shrieked, looking at me before she burst into tears.

  What the hell was going on? Seriously!

  “Joel! She’s awake,” I heard her say, calling my dad into the room.

  Why were my parents there?

  In seconds they were surrounding me, hugging me, and now everyone was crying. So out of part fear that something was really wrong and out of part relief that my family was there, and simply because I wasn’t sure why I was upset, but I was, I started crying too.

  Warm tears splashed down my cheeks, and oddly, the release felt good. My father was on one side, my mother on the other, arms wrapped around me like a cocoon, and my best friend was holding my hand that was starting to regain feeling. Why did I feel so safe and lost at the same time?

  My mother pulled back and looked at me, cupping my face with her hand. “Oh, baby. I’m so glad to see those brown eyes.”

  “Okay,” I said, not understanding as she wiped the tears from beneath my eyes.

  Why was my mom acting like this? She’d just seen me three weeks earlier at Christmas.